A few days ago, I initiated the topic of "grumbling" in two Facebook groups that deal with the topic of Bulli. The background to this was that I had the feeling that positive things were hardly valued any more. Instead, there was a strong focus on the negative. - Dung beetle versus bumblebee.
On the one hand, there were positive comments, but on the other, there were also lots of arguments that "we Germans" are so good precisely because we constantly criticize each other. Then came a Schwab(e) with the following argument:
Ned gschompfa isch globt gnuag - Not scolded is praised enough! - Every Swabian child knows this saying. Supposedly this saying corresponds to Swabian thriftiness, because you save yourself the praise. - But this saying has multiplied over the years.
In Bavaria they say "Ned gschimpft ist globt gnua" - and funnily enough, every Rhinelander, Berliner and I know it too.
The bad thing is that for a long time I used this very saying to justify my inability to praise. After all, my dad couldn't do that either. I was allowed to learn it. - In the end, I received praise "in his name" from my late father's sister, my aunt. In other words, "Your father would be proud of..." - At the age of 52, I cried like a castle dog. How much I would have liked this praise from his mouth.
This is in no way a criticism of my father. His generation simply didn't learn how to praise. Boys should be strong and agile. I am also aware that he has said at various points that he is proud of me. But it's different to hear praise from a third party or from his father. Our generation certainly wants to do better. That's why we should send this fake news into orbit. It's not enough praise!
There are times to criticize, although positive, constructive criticism would certainly be better. - But that is another topic. And there are times to praise. Or as Anselm Feuerbach put it:
"Blaming is easy; that's why so many try their hand at it. Praising with understanding is difficult; that's why so few do it."
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